Welcvme, Deareƒt ƒriend, to the Departed Dollars Memorial
Wherein, dead Americanƒ Dollarƒ, and Aule Other Typeƒ of Dollarƒ, are tasteƒully, and Equally, Immortaliƒed in Eternum Restuvus, sic Ludens Canus...
& Wheareby, Inne thif Eternal Worlde of Financial Chaos, sometimes, against all our Strugglef, we are unable to save the livef of those $$$ clofe to us, and with whom we've lived out our joys and sorrowf, in short togetherneff... AND often, we wish to ƒhare the Moments that $$$ has given unto us, so that others may benefit from our own storief. This, then, is ye auld Marble Orchard of our memories... of $$$.
Dost thou wish to leave Benedicftion for Yon Bereaved almigfty $?
(Please include as close a $ approximation as you can.)
» Back to ye aulde Toppe
Transflation:
Welcome, dearest friend, to the Dearly Departed Dollars Memorial Website...
Wherein, dead and dearly departed American, and all other types, of Dollars, are tastefully, and equally, immortalized in eternal rest, without man or wolf...
And, whereby:
In this eternal world of financial chaos, sometimes, against all our struggles, we are unable to save the lives of those loving Dollars close to us, and with whom weve lived out our mortal joys and sorrows, in short togetherness... and often, we wish to share the moments these Dollars have given unto us, so that others may benefit from our own stories.
In Memories, They Live Eternal.
Yesterday I was up $2k dollars, today, Im down $300… If I cared about each lost departed dollar, Id probably be grubbing for recyled cans and gutterchange. Still, I will say, two years ago I made some good dollars and spent them on a 6 month costa rican vacation. I remember those dollars with humble rememberance.
Nice fake olde english, t’warms the heart of an aulde english major… I had an old pocketdress that I had washed a couple times and put away for a couple of winters. When I wore it out to a dinner for the first time in awhile last spring, I reached in one of the pockets I never use and found a wrinkled fabric-softened $50 bill… I still dont know where it came from. I used it later that evening but now I miss it.
i’ve lost so many many many dollars. from th extra buck i gave the waitress for lousy service in a restaurant i hated, to the late fee for a library book i didnt read to the bag of mcfries that got left in the back of my jeep and were discovered by roaches. i always thought of myself as someone with respect for the dollar but i guess that’s a lie. so much for the mighty buck.
I found a tenspot when i was 8 yrs old or so, and blew it all on candy and comics. After i ate all the candy and read the comics, i only wished i had the ten dollars back..
It was in the early years when i first realized, a scheckle lost was a scheckle ne’r to be found again… and though i often had happenstance to revisit the day i found my first true scheckle, the scheckle of my life, twas only in memory… RIP, dearly departed….